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<h1 style="text-align: center;">Statement Of Intent: Why I Am Here</h1> <img src="https://media.istockphoto.com/id/2183915020/photo/modern-businessman-working-in-contemporary-office-space.jpg?s=612x612&w=0&k=20&c=SNrqQ1jkJ9Mp0x70whBYAuY7ubtS-Cn-yDeAS4xlkng=" alt="" width="800" /> "Listen carefully..." The Wire In the light of recent events obtaining here at my blog and indeed elsewhere online, I feel compelled to make the following statement. My blog got started as a result of a series of conversations between myself, Ted, Morpheus and Han; it is no secret, at least at this juncture, that these conversations took place in the backdrop of the profound changes that took place at Hooking Up Smart. This would make sense; after all, all of us "founding fathers" of JFG, actually "first met" at HUS, and while I didn't share my fellow JFG brothers' view of kind of reviving an "HUS of old" (more on this in a moment; please keep reading), I could certainly understand the motivation. <h2>The Challenge Of Bare-Knuckle Conversations</h2> What I have learned, thus far in this grand experiment, is that the notion -- the idea -- of Men and Women being able to have <a href="https://blog.loveawake.com/2018/12/20/3-milestone-dating-conversations/">bare-knuckle conversations about various aspects of mating</a>, is hugely important to my brothers...important in ways that simply are NOT, for me. You see, I simply do not share their thirst and desire for fostering such discussions; indeed, I am deeply ambivalent about the entire enterprise. I mean, WHY should there be such a "conversation"? To what end? For what purpose? After all, it seems quite clear to me that quite a few Women -- and to be frank, the Women Who Matter, i.e., not currently mated to someone else, too old to be viewed as viable mating material or currently having (small) children, etc, et al - aren't the ladies that are in attendance in such discussions to begin with, in the main. Moreover, even if said ladies were in attendance, there is scant evidence -- and here I cite HUS itself -- that they are amenable to "hearing" the "message" JFG or indeed, other Manospherian outlets, are putting out. Therefore, it seems to me, to be something of a Fool's Errand, from a tactical standpoint. However, and as I think we all know, human beings rarely do things based on pure logic, right? I came to understand that, for my brothers, something else is driving their deep desire to continue this "HUS of old" vibe. And besides, when I was finally able to get Ms. Walsh to publically admit that she couldn't care less about me and mine, I took that as the smoking gun evidence I needed to head for the door. To be sure, it wasn't the first time I'd heard such sentiments, and not just from Nice White Ladies(TM) either; nor would I be telling the truth if I said that it didn't make me just the least bit uncomfortable. Nevertheless, that Moment of Clarity was a much-needed one, a powerful motivator personally, and yet another indication of how others feel and think about me and mine. I won't attempt to speculate as to what that -- the burning desire on the part of my compatriots to foster this discussion is so very important to them is -- they, and all of you, are more than capable of simply spilling the beans on that score. Rather, I would like to layout why I -- the only "other" in the group -- am here, and why I do what I do. <h2>Telling My Truth From My Perspective</h2> I'm here, because it is very important to me to <a href="https://blog.loveawake.com/2021/10/18/3-tips-to-make-conversation-more-seductive/">tell my truth, from my perspective</a>, my vantage point. My side of the story in this grand "conversation" is wholly absent -- as I noted in my recent piece, "A Blue Collar Brotha Speaks", the best I can hope for is that someone will refer to me and mine in derogatory terms. If at all. No matter where you fall on this thing, chances are that "your side" WILL be represented. If you're a White Guy and at least nominally middle class, "your side" is being represented. If you're a Brotha who is at least nominally middle class, "your side" is being represented. If you're a White Woman and at least nominally middle class, "your side" is being represented. If you're a Black Woman and at least nominally middle class, "your side" is being represented. Now, I know that there are other segments of the population that come into view here; but the thing is, you're regarded as "Honorary White" -- all the moreso if you, like the aforementioned groups, are at least nominally middle class -- and as such, your side is being represented. Indeed, we saw this in one of Ms. Walsh's recent HuffPo Live appearances, where one of the "experts" on the panel, was an Asian Woman who was married to what seemed to be a White Jewish Man, based on her surname. There are notable examples in the Manosphere as well. 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I am not particularly interested in attempts to "convince" Women to "listen to reason"; not only do I think it's a waste of time and a derailment of my own interests, but it's also deeply insulting to the Women themselves; it suggests that they don't know what they want or what their interests are, both of which is ridiculous. Even if they do wind up making the wrong or bad choices, they can and should have the right to make them, full stop. I do not see it as my job or duty, to be their conscience. It is very important for me to tell my narrative in my own voice...and for those who read it, to simply listen. LOL, I'm learning more and more, some five years after I began this blogging thing, that "simply listening" is proving much more challenging for many -- particularly those who tout themselves as brimming over with "empathy" and "progressiveness" -- than they may be willing to admit. Indeed, in many ways, my very presence in various quarters, is the acid test to such notions. Much of what I write can and will be lengthy; the themes and issues I wish to address cannot be summed up inside of 140 characters -- nor should they be. They are as equally demanding; they ask the reader to go beyond mere pithy assumptions and pat explanations of "how things are/should be". In short, you have to THINK -- HARD -- about the many topics I broach in this or indeed, any forum. To be sure, there are no easy answers -- and that's the point: I want the reader to really grapple with the topics I present, because this is what I do all the time -- and trust me, if I, of all people, can make the time to do so, then no one reading this really has no excuse. You have chosen not to do so, as is your right; but let's call a spade a spade. <h2>Men Helping Men: A Specialized Perspective</h2> I'm also here because <a href="https://blog.loveawake.com/2019/08/06/why-men-cant-get-dates/">men need to help and assist each other</a>, and to this extent I do so when and where I feel best equipped. Therefore, I offer insights pertaining to aspects and elements of human mating, urban survival, and trying to find some semblance of happiness in this brave new world that Men, especially those like me, now find ourselves. What I offer is a hybrid of both what I've read, but also of what I've actually tested on the ground and have found to actually WORK. It is not comprehensive, nor do I make any such claim; indeed, it can be argued that what I bring to the forum in that regard is highly specialized. So be it. The Manosphere is brimming over with assistance and advice for other types of Men, and I say that is an altogether a good thing; it can and should have room for my "take" on it all, too. I'm not altogether sure where things will go from here, with the posting of my position on these matters; a real question emerges as to whether I belong here, given the importance of my erstwhile brothers to continue to foster a "HUS of old" discourse -- something that simply isn't a priority of mine, at all. I suppose it will all serve as a kind of test as to whether my blog can be nimble enough to accommodate both points of view...or if, as Rosin and others have suggested, we guys are a bit too brittle for our own good, and either cannot or will not be flexible enough to bridge the two worlds. <iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/zRhbuW0Bw_M?si=irj_p-8MVWm_iqbp" title="YouTube video player" frameborder="0" allow="accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share" referrerpolicy="strict-origin-when-cross-origin" allowfullscreen></iframe>